I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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