Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
