in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
