tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
