You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
