You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
