Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Randomize
