Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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