hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
