Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
So vagazzling was a success
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
