The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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