Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
