every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize