can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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