We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
