I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
