sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
