i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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