If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
the night ended with taco bell and tears
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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