yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
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