That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Can I color on your dick again?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
