You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize