Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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