I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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