we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
