He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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