We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
