She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
