Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
