life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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