I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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