OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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