if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize