Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
