clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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