Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
