i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
