That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
All the doctor said was why
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
