Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
