Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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