i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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