I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Randomize
