Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
pop tarts are not kleenex
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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