I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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