i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
