so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
