bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
