12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
