Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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