I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
