maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
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whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
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But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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