The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
