how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
