I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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