I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
