I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I currently don't understand fingers.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
