I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
