At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
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The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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