She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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