I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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