Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
my sisters under your porch take her home
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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