Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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