Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
