I just cut my nipple shaving
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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