umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
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